And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
