Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
