& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
