physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
