sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
