Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
