Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
