Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
