This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
