rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
