pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
