I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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