just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
