yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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