whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
