how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
