Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
