Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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