Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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