Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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