Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
