We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
