fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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