why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Text me some of your sweat
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