..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
