pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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