Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
