the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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