if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
