3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
