Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
