Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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