i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
