Hey man sorry I got all grabby
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
