dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
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the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
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We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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