i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
