I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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