If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
