Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize