feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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