Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
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