whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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