You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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