She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
