Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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