Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
