And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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