You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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