It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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