Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
