hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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