Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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