So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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