we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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