did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
