So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
