Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
