just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
