the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
