Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
