my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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