i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Randomize
