if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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