Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Randomize
