Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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