I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
