I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
this hospital has no fireball
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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