The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
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I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
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You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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