did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
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Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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