weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
